Y'all know this - It's been a rough week and a half for me. A roller coaster that put me in a mental and emotional place I didn't want to be in. A lot of self doubt, a lot of not knowing, a lot of anger.
Today is the last Thursday before Christmas. It really forced me sit down and think about the things I am grateful for this holiday. I really love the holiday season, so it was important for me not to let it be ruined. When you find yourself crying when you try to sing along to Christmas songs, its a sign that something needs to change (or you're PMSing. whatever.)
Now... maybe it's because I don't host the holiday, but Christmas has never stressed me out. Gifts can get pricey, but its easy to make adjustments according to your budget - and anyone truly worthy of receiving your gifts won't care how much you spent on it.
I love baking and decorating and wrapping presents. I love the sounds and the smells, and I don't even mind staying late to help clean up. It's the other stuff that makes Christmas stressful - the everyday stuff that still needs to get done amidst all of fun things I want to do more.
It's been kind of surreal this last week or so - floating in and out of the holiday spirit.
I literally just got up from my desk and got knocked back out of it. The phone calls continue...
Here's to cold mornings in Malibu and wearing big fuzzy sweaters. To blue skies in December and Christmas lights contrasting the green grass of our neighbors lawns. I may not be feeling awesome right now, but I have the highest of hopes for tomorrow.
And in a minute I'm going to put on the Rockin' Christmas channel on Pandora so I can focus on the things that make me smile - like the giant hug I'm going to get when Tim sees his Christmas present next week, and making gingerbread houses with my mom and sisters tomorrow night.