I thought about this for a while.
I want to talk about happiness. I want to talk about my journey to happiness, but first I need to talk about every day and why seeking happiness is important.
A while back I went to the info session for my yoga teacher training, and I had a brief connection with the woman next to me over one thing in particular; we took solace in yoga. It was a place we could go to escape.
Why would I need to escape? Because life is stressful, man, and sometimes you just need to breathe.
I have my share of issues. I constantly question my goals, my intelligence, my self-worth. Some days I just feel like I can't do anything right; I'm incapable or lazy. These are issues I need to work out, but I believe that by focusing my energies elsewhere - staying positive, if you will - I can "forget" these things.
I have found, though, I have a place where I don't think about any of it. I exist only in the moment, following my breath through the moving meditation to calmness of mind.
I'm serious. Sometimes just thinking about being in that mental state brings me peace.
I'm not thinking about my successes or failures, how much I wish my husband would pick up after himself more often, or how nice it would be if the house was not covered in dog hair. I am focused on the present. I am listening to the sound of my own breath and feeling it energize me as I move into the next posture. I am present and dispassionate. In a pseudo-Des-Cartian sense, I simply am.
Last night I picked up The Happiness Project again. It was a gift from my sister over 2 years ago. I don't know if she bought it for me because she just thought it looked neat, or if I looked unhappy and I didn't realize, but thanks to Alyssa, I picked it back up again. I am back on page six (reading in bed means I usually end up falling asleep after only a few pages)
What I’ve taken from the first few pages is only that I seek more happiness and that my journey will need to be my own. So, my first step is an attempt to bring my consciousness to the present – to be in the moment as much as possible, and not to wander or worry or get lost in my emotions.