Thursday, May 9, 2013

Applying What I Learned

Yesterday was one of those days - when the crumbs left on the kitchen counter are more than a mere annoyance and the smallest thing is interpreted as a personal attack. From the moment I woke up yesterday morning until right around 6pm, it was just one thing after another. I would finally start to feel better about one thing and then a whole new problem would arise.

I was battling my self worth all day. It sucked.

But I had agreed to sub, not one, but two classes yesterday, so I knew I had to buck up, breathe through it, and get these people the amazing yoga classes they paid for.

It took some work, but I breathed through it, shook it off and when it was time to teach my first class at 4, I felt ready.
Class did not go perfectly. It was my first time teaching Power Yoga - a 90 minute class as opposed to the 60 minute classes I usually teach - and though I tried not to let it show (I didn't want my students to feel like they were being taught by a novice), I definitely had some rocky points. At times I felt like I was floundering, fumbling and flustered. Though I like to think I put on a good face, it was rough, and I left class wondering why I was a yoga teacher. I was crushed. My confidence was just not there.
Looking back, I knew what I could have done differently to make it a better class, but all I could do was accept it and move forward.

Lucky for me, I had another chance. My second class of the day could go one of two ways, 1) a repeat of my first class that day - no bueno, or 2) I could take what I learned, apply it to my second class, and give these people the kind of class I wish I'd taught earlier that afternoon.

I had been under so much (self induced) stress, I knew I needed two things - food... and yoga. I spent the next hour thinking about the class I wanted to take - the stretching and poses I wished I had time to give to myself - and when 745 rolled around, the words just flowed out of me without a second thought. I was confident, I didn't second guess myself, and I was happy to be a yoga teacher.

The candle light and my largest class to date certainly didn't hurt.

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